I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
