It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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