Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
