It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
