You don't have asthma, your pregnant
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
