whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
