I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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