lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
