i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
