And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
