You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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