I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How naked do you want me to be?
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