I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just found puke in my bra..
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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