I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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