oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize