i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
