As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
