she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize