I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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