i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
