You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
