One girl and one boy is just not enough.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You need a sexual gate keeper
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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