Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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