From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
