I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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