Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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