I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
