It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
