i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
