they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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