Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize