He asked to "fluff my boner.."
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
