i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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