butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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