Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
