so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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