gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
