We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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