Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
