so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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