My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
