I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
