so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
