If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
