Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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