that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
