Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
