she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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