she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
