Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Did you pee in the oven last night??
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
