just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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