mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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