Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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