Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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