Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
