oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
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you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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