On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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