After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize