Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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