i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
