Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
